blacksquadleader | (no subject)

Why couldn't Poe leave things alone? Why couldn't he let himself be happy and just let her take her bow and leave him and Finn in peace? He needed time with the other, after everything that's happened, he deserved to be happy. She would be fine with being friends, though in her heart of hearts, she wanted to be with both men. Which was utterly insane. How could one person feel so strongly for two others?

She would have thought her lie would have been the perfect excuse, but the pilot saw right through it. He was frowning and trying to sit up in his bed. Now, now he was calling her a coward. If she were like Kylo Ren, she would have lashed out, but instead she averted her gaze. It wouldn't be the first time she tried to run away from what was in front of her. She was prepared to tell him she wasn't running, but Finn came to her defense. That definitely took her aback.

Her gaze is back on her friend, looking at his dark eyes and trying to say the words again. Does she really have to go now because Luke was looking for her. She really didn't want to lie to Finn, or to Poe.

"...No, I don't have to go." Rey admitted softly, averting her gaze from Finn to Poe, silently asking him why he didn't want her to leave. She was trying to do what she thought he wanted.

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Well, that hadn't gone like he'd intended. Biting back another scathing comment, he settled back into the bed, though he did remain sitting up this time. At least there was no more threat of him trying to get out of bed. Poe's temper was rarely seen and for good reason. He was hot headed, yes, but true anger was rare from him. That said, his temper could run hot once someone pushed him far enough. Thankfully, that took quite a lot.

Lips pursed in frustration, dark eyes settled on anything but the two people visiting him. It was odd, really. He should be happy that they were both there with him and while he was, he felt so damn anxious and that was clear in his irritated outburst. It just wasn't like him.

Finn's tone to both of them told Poe everything he needed to know. Rey was met with gentle words while Finn had snapped at him. The difference made his gut knot up and his heart sink lower than he realized it could. That sinking feeling left him sitting there, staring down at a faint scar on his hand and oddly silent.

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Finn is not sure what to be more concerned about when Rey admits truthfully that she does not have to go. He might not be a jedi, capable of reading minds but something is bothering Rey like he's never really seen before. It cause for concern because in all their time together Rey has always been collected and level headed in the face of danger, where as he always was quick to scream and run. Biting down on his lip and turning to glance back at Poe he sighs, because it was also obvious that the pilot was agitated at more than just being forced to be stuck in bed.

"Look, I dunno what's going on with you two but if you need a minute I can go? I'm not stupid -" he grimaces realize how that might sound, like he is blaming himself for something he has no control over, but if either of them were to actually ask him how he felt at the moment that was a pretty good generalization. "You know what I mean. You're both acting different but I thought we came here to take care of each other and all of a sudden it seems like that's the opposite of what's going on."

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Rey internally winced, curling one hand into a fist as Finn pointed the obvious between her and Poe. There was a shake of her head at him. No, he wasn't stupid and it was wrong of her to make him feel as such.

"No, I--we don't want you to go. I just..." She let out a soft sigh, biting the inside of her cheek as she tried to explain what happened without telling Finn that she was pushing for him and Poe to be together. That she liked both of them a whole lot but didn't want to stand in Poe's way.

"I'm being stupid," she admittedly softly. Maybe if she just came clean with (almost) everything it might help matters. It would leave her vulnerable but both deserve to know how she felt.

"Poe and I had a talk and...I like both of you, a lot. Not in the sense of friendship but...more." Her cheeks we pink and when she explained herself she reached over to lightly tough Poe's thigh while staying close to Finn.

"And in watching the two of you...I can't pick one or the other. I don't want to lose either one of you...you're both important to me. "

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Now that wasn't what he'd expected to hear. Not when she was sober, anyway. Earlier, he had thought that he was being foolish for the same reason that Rey was saying and for a moment, he felt like a coward. She might be floundering about her confession, but at least she said something.

The hesitation in her voice was something he never wanted to hear again and it made his head hurt to listen to it. With a sigh, he reached out and squeezed her hand before letting his hand settle back in his lap, safely away from everyone else's. All the while, he barely even looked up, and when he did, he met no one's gaze.

"Rey, you don't need to pick... and Finn..."

He couldn't. He couldn't say it.

"We're friends. All of us. She's got this bucketheaded idea that she needs to vanish or something in the hopes that you and I will... talk. Spend time together and whatever else."

That whatever else had been on his mind a lot lately, but not just with Finn.

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"All this over a talk?" His eyes never stop moving between Rey and Poe as he listens, though it is difficult to grasp the implications right away. What he hears at first is the obvious, Rey likes both of them and Finn could not think of anything greater to hear. After all, Poe turned in to the first friend he ever had and the pilot helped show him he deserved to be his own person. The fact that Rey who turned out to be the next and equally important person in his life and Poe were getting along was perfect.

"Wait you -?" The rest he wasn't quiet ready for. Sure he understood the words but the impact of them took longer to get past years of First Order training - training that still made things like the idea of someone actually having real feelings for him difficult to accept let alone understand. However, it causes his heart to race in ways he's never quiet experienced before and the last thought he has is not jealously over the fact that Rey likes Poe too, but just that possibly both of them care that much about him.

It takes him a few more minutes to say anything else, but in the meant time he makes several attempts to with almost frustrated motions of his hands that come in between those moments Finn's mouth opens and no words come out because there's only one thing that's pretty clear to him and it makes all this a lot more amusing than it should.

"Did you two ever stop to think about what I wanted?" His whole life he's been having decisions made for himself and if Rey and Poe weren't so important to him Finn might have been offended, but in this instance all he can do is laugh over how silly the two of them are being.

Edited Date: 2016-03-26 03:54 am (UTC)

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"I don't want to pick at all, Poe," Rey told the pilot, her gaze focused on him, feeling her heart break as he couldn't withstand to look at her. She really screwed up big time, but instead of running away, she would take her licks for it. At least the truth was out there. At least both men knew how she felt about them. Hopefully...this would be the worst of it, letting Poe and Finn go to become...something more.

"I want you two to be happy." Why was that so hard for him to take in? She wanted to reach out and hold Poe, to say she was sorry and hope he wouldn't push her away. That was the scariest thing to her: to lose not just Poe, but Finn too.

But, yes Finn, this was all because of a talk. And by the way both her and Poe were acting, it was all true. They cared so much for him that they were inadvertently fighting over him--only fighting to give him over to the other person. But, Finn made a point, they didn't consult him. Rey ducked her head, feeling more stupid than she ever had.

"No...we--I didn't, but..." really she was running out of excuses--wait, was he laughing? That made her snap her head up to look at her friend.

"How is this funny?"

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"I'm glad someone thinks this is funny."

Sighing, Poe reached up to idly scratch at a bandage on his cheek before he shot Finn a rather put upon look at the laugh. All in all, this whole thing was frustratingly stupid but Poe had never really been a man of words. He showed affection in actions, and oddly enough, the smaller, the better. His grand gestures were saved for flying, but the little ones showed he cared.

"... but Finn's right. We don't know what he wants. So... what do you want?"

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Being amused is much easier than being upset and in it's own way makes the situation a touch more endearing considering both Poe and Rey were attempting to side line themselves so he and whoever else could be happy.

"Look you two, I dunno exactly what you two said to one another but I need you two to understand that you're both really important to me. I never had friends before... never was allowed to know more than my unit and even then we were all just a bunch of faceless designations. If you loved anything that was weakness ... I'm not even sure I'd know it if it was right in front of me. What I do know is now that I'm not terrified anymore there's no way I can sit here and tell either of you not to be in my life. You guys are the best thing that's ever happened to me and I don't want to lose either of you."

What that means exactly - well, even Finn can't explain. Relationships and their titles are just something he has never had deal with beyond leader and solider.

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It wasn't as simple as Funn was making it sound. Poe and Rey were trying to give him the chance to be with either of them. But the truth was, it would hurt regardless because Rey wanted both men...and Finn felt the same way. He didn't want to lose either of them.

Three people couldn't be together in a relationship other than friendship...right? Rey looked over at Poe, thinking he would have an answer to this. Because out of the three of them, he had the most experience with this.

"You wouldn't lose either of us, Finn. It's...more than that. You would still have us, but..." One would mean more than the other.

"I don't know how to explain it. "

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"She's in love, Finn. She loves both of us but she thinks you should be with me and not her."

Oh, he knew. He knew too well. Love was something he never wanted to mess with. With his life and what he did for the Resistance, love was something dangerous. He'd seen how loved ones crumbled when their pilot didn't come back from missions and that was something he swore he'd never inflict on someone. Back then, he thought such a thing was selfish and cruel. Now, it'd happened him and instead of feeling euphoric, he felt sad. He loved his friends, sure, but what he felt for Finn and Rey was something far more demanding than that.

And now one of those people had pretty neatly settled him in the friendzone. It hurt, but in a way, he thought it was better for everyone involved. Once he was out of the medbay, he could find a way to ease the unexpected ache and get on with life.

For now, all he could do was sigh and card a hand though his hair before scratching at his cheek again.

"You're important to both of us and I'm glad we can be here for you."

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"So she loves you and me... and you love me and her?" His eyes drift momentarily away from Rey and back on Poe as his fingers play connect the dots by slowly motioning between them. He wonders at least for a brief moment if it might just be better if he was the one to take the step back, after all in between the ups and downs somehow Rey AND Poe managed to connect. In truth it's just another admirable thing that Finn wants to experience more of and with both of them. Which is why all of this is so terribly confusing, because he can't imagine having it without one of them.

"What if I say... what I want is for there not to be a choice? It seems unfair if I feel the same way about both of you." Right now all he has to go on is how hard his heart is pounding in his chest, it's like being terrified but instead of wanting to run he's firmly planted in one spot. The only thing that'll get him to move is seeing either of them try and go - he's not ready for that.

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It had never been Rey's intention to push Poe into the 'friend zone,' heck, she didn't even know what that was. She was trying to navigate the difficult, murky waters of her feelings. Having Poe blurt out that she loved both of them made her cheeks turn pink. Love....that was such a strong word, but she did feel strongly for the two of them. It seemed like the appropriate term, but it only made her heart ache more knowing she wouldn't be able to be with either of them.

But...she was used to being alone. She knew how to take care of herself and her friends would be happy.

"...I don't know about that Finn." Poe? Love her? No, he clearly had eyes for Finn only. At least that's what she had believed all this time.

She watched Finn pull away, forcing herself to keep her hands at her sides, to not fold them up and create a barrier between her and them. Then Finn manages to tell them he shared the same feelings for both of them. He didn't want to choose which really leaves her head spinning.

"I...I wouldn't know what to do. Relationships are usually between two people...." she turned her attention to Poe. "Right?" Because Light help her, she didn't know.

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"Usually."

He knew it now. They were all crazy. How could any of them think any kind of relationship would work in the middle of what could easily turn into a war? If that happened, he knew it would likely end up badly, with the survivors heartbroken and that wasn't something he wanted for them.

He let that word settle between them for a few long moments. Finally, he looked over at Rey, then to Finn and he knew that indeed, they werecrazy. There they were, looking to him for advice. Him, the infamous playboy pilot that really wasn't one to live up to the rumors. Sure, he had a decent amount of experience, but relationships had never been his thing. Too many loose ends and people left behind when missions had priority.

He wouldn't want to hurt them like that.

"Look, this kind of things is... nice and everything, but is it a good idea? We pretty much just started a war with the First Order. Finn, you know how that'll work since they trained you. Rey... you're a fighter, but you have no idea what this kind of fighting is like. Love has a habit of... not surviving wars. Are you sure you two want to risk it?"

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"Poe's right it won't be easy." He announces honestly, the tone in his voice and the way his arms cross over his chest giving a way more of just how difficult fighting the First Order will be rather than his words. They were far from down from the count and while they had dealt a crippling blow by taking out their most dangerous weapon the entire Organization would only double their efforts from here on out.

"Look you guys I'm not going to lie but I'm probably the worst person to rely on in this situation. The First Order prohibits just about everything we do, relationships are just another thing that gets in the way, but what I have with both of you is special - it makes me stronger. I don't want to lose that." Reaching out again this time to touch both Poe and Rey at the same time before he tugs the jedi closer to Poe's bedside with him.

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Nothing in life was ever easy, especially when they were in the middle of a war. However, Rey didn't want to lose either guy. They were both special to her. She was used to fighting to survive on Jakku....why wasn't she fighting for both of them, Finn wanted to do it...if Poe could accept this too, then maybe what they have could stand a chance.

"I honestly, don't know what I'm doing either but...I can't imagine my life without either of you two. " She goes to Poe's bedside a little more quickly than she would have done thanks to Finn's tug.

"I'm used to fighting, everyday, and if I can have you two....that'll be more than enough for me. " more than enough in this life time and the next. She reached out to take Poe's hand, hoping he would want to be in this crazy relationship with them.

[ ooc: Hey guys! Won't be able to tag during the weekend. But I'll tag back on Sunday! :) ]

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The decision seemed to weight heavily on Poe's mind. He remembered what it was like to be so young and in a way, he was envious. It was another reminder of why he fought so hard and why he let himself get worn out; so others could have things like this. He never imagined he'd be able to, though.

Huffing, he let his fingers tangle with Rey's even as he licked at his lip only to end up pulling it between his teeth. If he could move any closer to Finn, he'd be pressed up against his side, but moving still hurt a bit and while he'd never admit it, he wasn't about to try it.

"Well then, I suppose we're all stuck with each other then."

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